Last week I read through the that World Vision sends me and I actually felt somewhat optimistic about the future. There was an article about a boy who through child sponsorship managed to go to school and eventually obtain a university degree. Prior to being sponsored he wasn't even able to attend school. Today however I received a link to http://www.projectcensored.org/ Although I haven't checked the authenticity it seems to be a relatively credible source. The point is moot though, the reason I write is due to the pessimism that I'm currently feeling about our future. I became pessimistic after reading project censor's top stories of 2007 but certainly I don't need these stories to feel pessimistic about the condition of our world.
Our global problems are so big. Environmental problems, economic problems, ethical problems, it seems that everything about North American society has a negative impact on the environment and to peoples of the third world. The only comfort that I can find is in putting my trust in a God who seems all to silent.
The way God works really bugs me sometimes. I've got some sincere questions that I'd like answered yet God, if He answers them, does it so quietly or subtly that I don't even understand the answer. He knows this, He's omniscient, so why wouldn't He answer audibly or at least let me know what I need to do to hear Him? When I get into moods like this I start to question my faith and then I start wondering if I'm undergoing a test of faith. I'm stuck in a catch-22 where I can't believe because of God's silence yet I can't give up my faith because I wonder if this silence is a test of my faith.
When it comes to these big problems I know that God desires justice and equality but I can't solve these problems. I can work to a solution but I'm stuck in the position of knowing that I always need to be doing more. S where do I stop? How can I enjoy life while knowing that there is injustice occurring every second of every day? When can I stop and enjoy the gifts God's given me. I read a quote that stated "God gives but He doesn't share" meaning that every good thing comes from God but it's our responsibility to distribute the gifts fairly. If I give everything I have to those with nothing it will be a drop in the ocean of righting injustice.
Personal problem that I'm experiencing: Am I selfish to pray for my sore wrist when today tens of thousands will perish from want? Or more generally speaking, can I prayer for more when my life is so much richer than the majority of the population of Earth?
SERIOUSLY GOD, WE'RE IN NEED OF SOME GUIDANCE HERE. I could write this whole blog in capitals because I am actually really frustrated about this. I'm a little bit tired of the way God communicates PERIOD
For those who are wondering, the title of the blog comes from one of the article that I read today. Apparently a necessary component of cell phones is almost exclusively mined in the Congo and is worth a fortune. For this reason thousands are fighting and dying for access to the mines in DRC and of course needless suffering is happening.